This was going to be a look at a slightly bizarre gadget. However, I’ve lost all concept of the word “bizarre” nowadays. To be honest here in Britain we’re so far down the rabbit hole right now, everything else kinda seems normal. Boris Johnson? Seriously? The guy flat out lied on TV last night. Several times. He thinks we’ve got a transition / implementation period even if we have a “No Deal” (wrong) and he also waffled on about Article 24 of GATT – something else that won’t happen if there’s a “No Deal”. These are complete lies. It’s crap. Ridiculous, on-the-fly, made-up arse.
Honestly, the guy is 28 biscuits short of a full pack of 30 biscuits. We’ve somehow ended up in a world where reality and facts don’t matter any more. It’s whoever says the most stupid, the most impossible and the most outlandish thing that matters. It’s the guy who says whatever he has to say to succeed. Balls to facts. Balls to reasons or blockers. Say it anyway and let’s start the back-slapping. Let’s call everyone else wrong and shout “Fake News” when it contradicts your utter codswallop.
The rest of the line-up in this mad game show are almost equally bonkers and surreal. Am I drunk? Is this actually happening? How can our entire political infrastructure be so utterly screwed and full of see-through empty promises that can never and will never happen?
Honestly, you’ll be promising full-fibre broadband to the door of every house in an impossible time-frame next.
Oh wait. The crack-pot has done that too? Mental. Someone send him back to Mars or wherever he comes from. Send the rest of the disconnected nut-jobs too. The ones who don’t believe that food banks exist and reckon that the NHS is running fine. Send them too. Get someone in who isn’t going to feather their own nest and preserve some sort of weird, disconnected party that is so far up it’s own backside that it couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery.
Oh my God. Where did all that come from?
Lord knows. I’ve been writing and creating this site for 17 years now. Never in my life have I seen such a dysfunctional, talentless, idiotic bunch of failures in my life. The whole EU referendum was only ever put forward as a campaign promise to keep the Conservative party together and now, here we are, years later, with the same useless cretins running round in circles. This is a great country, a brilliant country, but we’ve been sold lies, we’ve been polarised by fame-hungry ego-maniacs who will take the money and run.
It’s time to pull the plug. The entire political system is past is sell-by date. Traditional two-party politics is dead.
As dead as this mouse in fact. As dead as this mouse if you buy the “Smart Kill Mouse Trap”. It’s £59.99 from Amazon and you get a smartphone app which will tell you when a mouse has been successfully caught.
Perhaps we can get a big version for our MP’s. Maybe. Then we could give them a mild electric shock when they tell lies.
“Easiest deal in history!”
“Let’s give the money to the NHS instead!”
“Sunlit uplands! A feeling of pride! We will have endless trade deals in place immediately!”
And now, for my morning coffee.