Brexit. The gift that keeps on giving. Goodbye EU roaming. We hardly even knew you.

Brexit is an unmitigated clusterfuck. I’ve never, in my life, seen something handled so badly. The referendum was full of lies and illegal spending. Money came from off-shore and, with media organisations living in a world where clicks matter and truth does not, people were sucked in by Brexit characters who’d generate the biggest headlines.

Tusk was right. The people who sold you unicorns and magic pixie dust can’t deliver any of it. It’s just not possible. Instead you’re going to get a donkey with a toilet roll strapped to his face and a big bag of shite.

Big social media sites ran ads that weren’t checked, professionally-created viral videos were shared on Twitter and bounced across Facebook and elsewhere. Brexit and Remain leaders made promises that didn’t stack up and now, two years later, we’re all slowly realising that nothing makes sense any more.

Those blue passports. We could have had them all along. Immigration? We could have controlled that all along, but our government didn’t do the checks and they were quite happy – along with the press – to have you believe that it was the “big bad EU” that was pushing us around. They still do now.

We’re now staring at the train as it thunders down the tracks.

If we jump to the left, we end up signing a botched deal which effectively keeps us as part of the EU but without any of the power we have now. We won’t have a seat at the table. We won’t have any say. We won’t have any MEPs.

If we jump to the right, we end up crashing out on WTO rules, with all those beneficial trade deals to EU and non-EU countries (which we enjoy by being part of the EU) going straight in the bin. We face years, with a fragmented government and no opposition, trying to build trade deals so that we can get fruit and vegetables.

We’re stock-piling food, we’re stock-piling medicine, we’re paying millions for ferries and millions more in sweetheart deals to try and stop companies from leaving our country. Dyson are going, Nissan, Sony, Airbus, Panasonic and Jaguar Land Rover could be the start of the next evacuation.

But, worst of all, our politicians are openly fighting. My local MP, Michael Fabricant, and other Brexit MPs, are posting on Twitter about how “strong” we’ll be without the EU and how our “Dunkirk spirit” will kick in. Meanwhile, I’m in Paris, I’ve just hopped off the Eurostar, talking to a French man and generally wondering where the hell it all went wrong.

I’m sorry. This is not World War II. This is not about the deaths of around 80 million people. This is a political and economic union – not a war.

Somewhere along the way though, in-fighting, lies and insults created a toxic environment where common sense went out the window.

Oh, and hey, if we do end up in a no-deal, then – apart from the massive and inevitable panic at every petrol station, supermarket and corner shop (imagine Christmas Eve at Tesco and multiply that by a million) – you’ll see an immediate return of mobile roaming charges too.

Yes, it’s just another benefit that will be going in the bin. The Huffington Post have revealed that, as part of government regulations scheduled on Tuesday, the UK will revoke all current EU roaming legislations on March 29th at 11PM. It would appear that consumer groups tried hard to maintain the agreement, which has benefited business travellers and holidaymakers alike, but our government – “taking back control” – decided it would be better to drop the current roaming arrangements.

That said, and outside of the EU, UK networks and our government will have no way of imposing a limit of the charges levied by EU operators, so it becomes hard to protect customers.

I’m sorry, I can’t sit on the fence – what are the benefits of leaving the EU? Someone tell me, because right now this has exploded into such a badly-handled mess. Even the Brexit-supporting MP’s who told us to vote for Brexit are now seemingly “surprised” that the EU roaming will end. What have they been drinking for the last 2 years? Did they do any research whatsoever?

If nothing else, this whole experience has revealed the differing and sometimes impossible ideas surrounding Brexit. It’s revealed how powerful social media and foreign money can be. It’s shown to me how a complete lack of editorial control, a drop in standards and a constant drive to earn as much advertising revenue as possible has driven this piercing divide in our country. Traditional newspapers – faced with a massive drop in circulation – are chasing smaller revenues online, trying anything to attract a big enough readership to get the ad clicks.

Free news is now biased, badly researched and rarely checked – sometimes it’s fake. It’s lifted from Twitter or Instagram and cranked out easily.

More traditional and trustworthy news source face a struggle to reach the masses – they sit behind paywalls, facing greater threats to their existence with high costs and less people reading.

Democracy, as we know it, will never be the same. People only believe what their favourite website, Twitter account, Facebook friend or Facebook group says.