What is your dog saying? Find out with WhatsYapp

First up, that’s an obvious click-bait headline, but sadly – that’s the way the internet works. I could’ve made it a bit better by adding, “Listen to your dog, you will be shocked!”

Anyways, let me give you an insight into running a website like this. See, we get a lot of companies that want to get their name on here. Sadly none of them can help sponsor our trip to Mobile World Congress, but I digress. These companies want to get featured here, and some try ways to “connect” their brand with mobile tech. We might get a clothing company producing some infographic about some made-up coat with “wearable tech” or we might hear about a DIY chain trying to tell us about their “connected alarm systems”.

What is your dog saying? Find out with WhatsYapp

However, today I’m almost in awe. The skills of the PR people at Fetch.co.uk (no, me either) have amazed me. They’ve managed to connect this Ocado pet store with tech by telling me about an invention they’re “working on”. It’s a doggy translator called “WhatsYapp”, and they’ve given us a press release telling us that it’s going to be “developed”.

WhatsYapp is described as the world’s most advanced communications system for dogs. It uses smartband technology to analyse a dog’s sounds, movements and activities, resulting in a direct translation to an app on your phone.

Data that comes from the dog itself. The device attaches to your dog’s collar and has an in-built microphone and many features that you’d associate with a smart-watch, which monitors sound, movement, bodily positioning, time and location. The collar connects to both the owner’s smartphone and the local wi-fi in the home.

A selection of unique, discrete low-energy Bluetooth stickers (ibeacons) are supplied with the collar which the owner can stick to key locations in the home, e. g. doors, dog bowls, bed and utility areas to create a pet-smart home.

Yeah, but can it actually translate what my dog is saying when he barks? Err.. not quite. It’s a “predictive behavioural translator”, which means that they can see if your dog needs anything. They tell me that it “lets you know what your dog is thinking”.

Yes, that’s not exactly what my click-bait title led you to believe, but that’s generally how every click-bait article in the world works. Welcome to the internet my friend, it’s a world of disappointment, bullying and one-upmanship. Boom!

Details below or head to fetch.co.uk/petnology.