Festive Feature #3 – Weekend special. An “adult” pillow

Festive Feature #3   Weekend special. An adult pillow
Where do you start with this? Perhaps I should warn you a bit about the content of this article. Don’t worry, there’s no rude pictures or anything like that, it’s all above board, so don’t worry if you scroll down a bit and your boss is walking past – you’re safe. I think it’s the description that made me roll about laughing more than anything else.

It’s £22.88 from banggood and never has a shop name been so apt. The description calls it “erotic furniture”, which started me off. Then it goes on to say that the “Sex pillow for couples” will “increase comfort and enhances pleasure to both partners”. Sure, that sounds like a fairly valid idea, but when you look at the pictures a few times, it becomes clear that the description and the actual design of the product are at odds somewhat..

Festive Feature #3   Weekend special. An adult pillow

After blowing it up, the product description states that it will ..

Provide improved access to key romantic areas.. The sex pillow can also facilitate new sex positions that will result in levels of intensity and satisfaction you’ve only dreamed of. This sex sofa also helps with daily life and can help improve comfort while resting and help reduce body aches and discomfort. Don’t hesitate.This sex sofa must be your favorite. You should have one like this. What are you waiting for?

Yeah. What are you waiting for eh? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!

If you’ve still not fully realised the “special” nature of this pillow, you should perhaps have a read of the washing instructions, which I won’t embed here, but you can click this to have a look (safe for work, but.. y’know…)

Oh, and the manufacturer has asked me to remind you of the following..

1. Please use it in safe, sober and unforced condition
2. These personal items will not be returned for your health.

If you’re interested in more of this, check out the “love chair” which also, rather hilariously, doubles as a tablet holder when you’re not using it. Honestly, I couldn’t make this stuff up..

Festive Feature #3   Weekend special. An adult pillow