Light up your floater for up to 3 hours.

Light up your floater for up to 3 hours.
What’s going on here eh? I’m getting sent all sorts of weird stuff in my inbox today. I could just go ahead and publish anything, perhaps with some hysteria and click-bait hype. Y’know, like the Daily Mail or The Verge. Perhaps then it’ll stick onto social media for more than 89 milliseconds and a mass of people will click on the story merely to add comments on the bottom stating that they disagree with it. The internet. Crazy place at times ain’t it?

Now, the PR company sent me some lovely text for this one. I’m sure an intern or junior guy has spent hours typing it. It’s almost beautiful, and it fills out 6 paragraphs. What he needed to say was..

“It’s an LED lamp that you charge up with a microUSB cable, then you stick it in a glass of water and it’ll shimmer like those ones in a restaurant. There’s a lampshade too.”

Yes, that’s about it. It has a cork bottom and, switching back to that PR blurb for a minute, will give “your dining room or living area a vintage vibe”.

It’ll do this for 3 hours. It’s also “artistic, atmospheric and a simple, stunning piece of décor”.

Good lord. Where did it all go wrong for me, eh? When I was a boy I had a dream about being a fireman. Now I’m writing about LED lights that’ll float on water.

It’s £9.95 from PrezzyBox. Please. Send me beer. Help me. Help me.

Bluetooth Speaker #4007 - KitSound Hive Discovery
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