A terrible effort at a story covering the Tomb Raider II release

A terrible effort at a story covering the Tomb Raider II release
Right. Must focus. Must maintain composure throughout this news post. Got an iPhone? Wanna play with Lara Croft?

DOAH!


Well, that lasted seconds.

DOAH!

Yesterday Tomb Raider II launched on iOS devices. It’s $1.99 (£1.49 / €1.79). The lovely press people have sent me information about this, including the fact that it’s essential for you to control Lara and venture through the canals of Venice in her quest to get the “Dagger of Xian”. Why does she want the dagger? I don’t know. How do you pronounce “Xian” ? Is is “Zian” ? Probably.

You will, of course, need to defeat some baddies and do some shooting and grenade throwing on the way. Pee-yow! Pee-yow! Pee-yow!

To be honest, this is why I don’t cover games much. It’s a game where you run around and shoot stuff. It features Lara Croft. She’s a lady you all probably know very well indeed already. She has a large pair of guns and wears the usual tight-fitting outfits that you’d expect any random female role-model to wear.

I don’t quite know where I’m going with this, so I’m going to bale out now and hope no-one notices the randomness of this post.

Wanna write for the site and do a better job of covering games? Gimme an email baby, because this one just didn’t go well did it? Hit that contact button, get in touch.

Right. Coffee. Blurb below. Game. Girl. Shorts. Guns. iOS. Done.

Why I moved to a Surface Pro 3
Fix that busted phone or tablet. iMend Review